


My Balls Are in Your Court

by xenten



Category: Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: #boycottaerofordaringme, French Kissing, I really am, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, OOC characters, Swearing, lots of touching...on the volleyball, rain of cum, seduction idek help me, this was a dare that got out of hand, unenthusiastic narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 06:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11663583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenten/pseuds/xenten
Summary: The slam of a ball echoed throughout the empty gymnasium, Kageyama heavily panted as he crouched down for a rest. He was surrounded by a pile of volleyballs he served, but he's only looking at the one ball that just fell to the ground. He looked at his hand to see a mark, it will most likely form a bruise but it just showed that that's the only volleyball that perfectly gave him satisfaction.He felt sorry for it though, surely it felt pain as much as he did?The raven-haired boy clenched his stinging fist with a goal burning in his eyes. He must treat it well in return for all it has done.





	My Balls Are in Your Court

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I am so sorry, I really am. This is well-written for a shitpost at least but I’m still sorry. I blame my friend, Aero for all of this. I love you brabe but I hate you for giving me this idea.
> 
> (lmao this fic was written by my AWESOME AMAZING STUNNING friend prim and she wanted me to post it on here~ i love you too brabe!)

 

 

The slam of a ball echoed throughout the empty gymnasium, Kageyama heavily panted as he crouched down for a rest. He was surrounded by a pile of volleyballs he served, but he's only looking at the one ball that just fell to the ground. He looked at his hand to see a mark, it will most likely form a bruise but it just showed that that's the  _ _only__  volleyball that perfectly gave him satisfaction.

 

He felt sorry for it though, surely it felt pain as much as he did?

 

The raven-haired boy clenched his stinging fist with a goal burning in his eyes. He must treat it well in return for all it has done.

 

He then grabbed the ball and started stroking the ball in its side, hoping it pleasured the object since it had no voice to moan and whimper. ' _ _Is this how you do it...?'__

 

He whispered a soft sorry as he spun the ball around, searching for something. He's trying to find it as quick as he could so the ball won't feel uncomfortable and exposed. ' _ _Where's the hole—?'__

 

"Oi, Bakageyama!" The said idiot froze, "whatcha' doin?"

 

He hesitantly turned around to see the only person he put above volleyball, Hinata Shouyou.

 

He felt his face heating up. ' _ _Oh shit he got caught—OH SHIT.'__

 

"U-um, Hinata dumbass...." Kageyama trailed off with his overused insult. Hinata chuckled, it seems like the king has forgotten his speech.

 

' _ _I wonder why..?'__

 

The ginger lunged forward to the boy in question with a cheeky laugh, "C'mon! Those meat buns are gonna vanish if you don't get your ass out—"

 

It seemed like life is a professional boxer that chose Kageyama as their personal punching bag because in this moment, he could see the most adorable being in the world look at him blankly with probable disgust. You could say that he was definitely knocked out.

 

But it also seemed like life is a little bitch too when he was brought back alive to this monstrous plane of existence as Hinata said these four words plainly.

 

"You're doing it wrong."

 

Kageyama thought that this was definitely one of those "what the fuck" moments when the small boy hastily grabbed the volleyball from him and proceeded to....french kiss it. He could only stare in shock at Hinata who was now whispering dirty things through those purely pink lips while stroking the bottom side of the ball.

 

"You have to make them feel good at first, Kageyama then it'll allow you to have fun.."

 

__'Okay, wHAT THE HELL?!'_ _

 

Hinata started leaving a trail of sweet pecks and kisses all around the ball after giving hickeys on its leather layers, the gym's silence was filled with the soft whimpers and hard moans of a ginger and his ball. For some fucking reason, Kageyama feels sour inside. 

 

__'Why the fuck do I feel so bitter...? Oh holy shit, I am NOT jealous, why the fuck would I be—wait. AM I HARD RIGHT NOW?!'_ _

 

Yep, he was indeed hard. Kageyama couldn't deny that fucking tent on his pants, and of course he's fucking blushing like an anime schoolgirl.  _ _'What tHE HELL IS GOING ON?!'__

 

Speaking of completely ooc characters, Hinata delicately fluttered his closed eyes open and smiled at the flustered trainwreck, "Kag—Tobio, why don't you join me on this pleasurable ride~?"

 

' _ _OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO—'__

' _ _Your mind cannot connect to your dick, please stand by—'__

__'WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT SHOULD I FUCKING DO—?!'_ _

__'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood. You know it used to be mad love. So take a look at what you've done. 'Cause baby now we got bad blood HEY__ ~♪'

 

You could clearly tell that Kageyama's mind...wasn't exactly on its top shape so please understand why he decided to roughly kiss the top surface of the volleyball in a flash, and caress it with his tongue. It also didn't take long for Hinata to join in as well after blinking his surprise away.

 

After the hard battle of groping, teasing hands, and swordfights in their mouths, they were able to make the volleyball leak with cum. This was also the first time that this volleyball didn't satisfy them, they wanted a fucking explosion on the battleground instead of this pathetic excuse.

 

As sad as it is for the readers, they continued their grand masquerade of lust with not only just the volleyball, but with each other. It's as if the whole gym was their own ballroom where their captivating yet handsy dance showed the true meaning of eroticism. Although it is quite...amorous, it's as if they're holding back. It's as if they're masking the true meaning behind these flirtatious looks and ogling glances that could be easily named love.

 

That's ridiculous though, I mean, Volleyball-san is the only thing that needed to be loved and cared for at this moment. Who cares if they technically have requited feelings for each other but they can't tell so they take their pining and put it out to fuck a sports equipment, right?

 

But of course, it all stopped when the gym's doors slam open to reveal the rest of the Karasuno team.

 

Do you guys remember the five stages of grief? Well it was just like that except much more worse. 

 

Confusion to realization then to shock which then morphed into questioningly understanding flashed in the other teammates' eyes, and ended finally with an indefinable emotion as they looked at each other.

 

Whatever emotion that was, it made the embarrassed Hinata and Kageyama wary of what's to come but all that was growing, besides their erections, was the bewilderment as the teammates wordlessly walked pass them, split into four, and picked up their own goddamn volleyball.

 

One after another, they literally smashed their fucking face into the ball. Daichi and Sugawara didn't hesitate to give the undying love Volleyball-san #2 deserves, Asahi and Nishinoya were having troubles because of their height difference but it just means that they'll find out "other" disgusting fucking ways to have "fun", and Tanaka and Ennoshita were undoubtedly the loudest of all that rivals even the moans of dinasours having sex.

 

Speaking of dinosaurs, may the lord have mercy on Tsukishima Kei. Yamaguchi,  _ _oh god__ , he's intentionally taking his time pleasuring the volleyball. Seductively, the freckled teen draws his tongue slowly up the ball as if it was a lollipop then licked his lips as if the candy taste also lingered there. Once that's thankfully done, Yamaguchi then batted his eyes innocently at the blonde as if the sinful and suggestive actions he did never happened.

 

All Tsukishima gave was a quick forehead kiss before looking away, blush dusting his cheeks. He huffed in embarrassment when it earned an amused giggle from the other person from how adorable the gesture was.

 

There ain't no denying that those two were like a light show that left everyone brightly beaming because,  _ _I guess__ , it's adorable. But like hell Hinata and Kageyama would let them take the spotlight.

 

So they all continued doing their disgustingly pleasurable thing, albeit with more competitiveness hanging the air. 

 

"Mind if we join in?" Kagami Taiga asked, entering the godawful gym while holding Kuroko's hand. The blue-haired boy was holding a basketball which became suspicious to the readers.

 

Kagami took the ignorance of the volleyball team as a sign of approval because both him and Kuroko went to clashing their faces on that goddamn orange basketball.

 

Silence was loud, but these high-schoolers' moans and groans were louder. They were like a garden, their flowers blooming each time they were pleasured. Sadly, the most beautiful flowers of all were picked as the volleyballs and basketball popped from their explosion of cum.

 

The people stared wide-eyed at what was lost, even if the rain of cum was practically sprinkling over them. You could even mistake their tears as these disgusting raindrops.

 

It wasn't long after they all came too, screaming out their partner's name. Hinata and Kageyama waved goodbye to Kagami and the other guy, and told them to never come back to this anime ever again.

 

The rest of the volleyball team left as well without a single word spoken like they were a bunch of characters that do not have any impact, character development, relation, or necessity in this fanfiction.

 

"I miss Vollyeball-san..." Hinata whispered mournfully once all of the forgettable cast of characters were gone.

 

With all the weird and fucked-up shit that Kageyama had been through right now, he could only reply, "Me too..."

 


End file.
